Jealous Believers - by Andrea M. Young

Jealous Believers

When I was growing up, momma dragged me to Gloryland
every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening trying to save my soul.
What she didn’t know was my soul was already taken,
spoken for, so to speak.

Started when my daddy began his weekly visits to my bed
when I was four or so and didn’t know no better.
At first, I thought this was things girls did to make their daddies happy.
After all, that’s what he told me.
Like the good girl momma was fashioning me to be
I kept our secret from her, my teachers, and the rest of the world.

Weren’t until they told us about our body rights
and inappropriate touching
that I knew no different.

By then it was too late.
Something inside of me had already turned
to the blackest of coal.
It felt downright uncomfortable sitting in there.
I could feel the ugliness of it
moving around to different parts
like a big old crawling garden spider.

Once when it settled in
behind my left ear for a spell
I felt the ugliness grow
kinda like a cancer.
That day I prayed to the dark man himself
you know the guy with many names:
Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub.

Yeah, they taught us about him at bible school
at Gloryland every Wednesday from 7 to 8.
So I prayed to him.
And you know what?
He listened to me.
He made my daddy disappear.
Oh it looked normal enough.
His car got caught on the train tracks,
and he was smashed to smithereens.
But I knew, I knew, the man was behind it.
You know, the guy with many names:
Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub.

Every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening
I continued to go with momma
to Gloryland so she would believe.